So it’s been a week, and it’s taken me this long to really wrap my head around the whole experience of TorCon. I still haven’t fully digested it all, but I’m at the point now where I can write about it coherently. It was such an amazing experience, I have to share it.
It was my first convention, and while I knew it would be awesome, I had no idea just HOW awesome it would be. My expectations were very much blown away.
Mm-hmm. I should be doing any number of other things - the dishes, wrapping christmas presents, baking cookies - but, nope. I'd rather ramble on my LiveJournal, so *sticks tongue out like a bratty two-year-old* that's what I'm gonna do.
I think my last post here was about NaNoWriMo - which turned into NaNoWriNO. I ended up giving up. It's been over a month and I'm still kind of pissed at myself, but I just got so far behind that I was stressing so much I couldn't write. I'd make progress of a thousand words or so and realize "oh, I'm still 10k behind." So, in an effort to destress my life (which seems to be all I DO lately) I just threw in the towel. I got about 12k into one story, then switched gears and started a different one, got 3500 words in and THAT wasn't working either, so - bleh.
I haven't really done any significant writing since, either, and that needs to stop. I need to get back into it. I've put too much work into writing in the past year to stall now. But, I've been thinking about it the past couple days, and I think part of my attitude problem with my writing is that I don't feel like I've made any significant improvements in my skills - obviously just practice will garner some improvement, but I haven't put any real effort into bettering myself as a writer. Part of that is because I'm not sure what areas I really need to work on - it's a hard thing to see the faults in your own work, even when you're willing and driven to do the work to improve.
So I think my goal in the coming year is going to be to work through some of the writing books I have. A few months ago I found a used copy of one book in a series called "Write Great Fiction" - sounds lame, I know, but the techniques and exercises (at least in the first chapter I read) made a lot of sense to me. I ended up ordering two more from the series with a gift card I had, so now I have "Description & Setting", "Characters, Emotion & Viewpoint", and "Plot & Structure". So I think I'm going to work through those books and see what I can learn, what I can improve on. I may post the exercises I write here - not sure. Maybe I can turn some of them into SPN fic to keep them within my current interest/obsession. Who knows. But 2017 is going to be the year of study for me. And I'm going to try my damnedest to stick to my personal goal of writing at least 500 words every day.
Speaking of obsessions.... Eyewitness? HOLY CRAP! Not only did that show feed my fetish for pretty boys kissing, but the story! The characters! With only 10 episodes, I kind of feel like it's the television equivalent of a short story - and a damn well-done one at that. There were a few loose ends/inconsistencies (like - what happened to Kamilah? And - how did Ryan know to look for the frying pan Lukas hit him with? It was in the woods, at night - how the hell did he find it with what I'm sure was a pretty decent concussion?) but overall, it was just a beautifully woven story with such vivid, dynamic characters and I just loved every minute of it!
At this point I've watched it probably 7 or 8 times - and I'm sure I'll purchase it at some point so I can always have it. (Hopefully it will be released on DVD? I really would love to add it to my collection.) At any rate - I love it. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. (And hey, it's only 10 episodes, so it's not too much of a time suck, right? Right.)
Christmas is just two days away and I'm actually dreading it. Which kind of sucks, because I used to love Christmas. I didn't even put up my tree this year! I know there's still time, but - really, what's the point? It's just me, I rarely have guests (and especially not this time of year) so I'd just be putting it up for a week or two of yelling at my cat to leave the ornaments alone.
I'm dreading Christmas day - family time. It's a strange thing that the older I get, the more I come to know myself, and the more I dislike my family and the way they treat people. There's this general air of unacceptance of anything outside of the "norm" and I'm just generally more and more intolerant of it. And it's not even that I lead any sort of alternative lifestyle - thank goodness because I can't imagine how that would go over - but I constantly feel judged just because I don't do things the way they think they should be done. Just because I have no desire to follow the typical life path they are comfortable with. So, time with family will be spent treading water, giving civil but terse responses to any questions posed to me, otherwise staying quiet and probably drinking a lot of whiskey. At this point even the fact that I'm expected to be there pisses me off - what if I didn't want to celebrate christmas? I'm not christian, so the standard religious conotations of the holiday bear no import to me. I used to consider myself pagan, and the celebration of the changing of the seasons and the rebirth of the sun made sense to me - but now? I don't even find any joy in that, so what's the point in celebrating this holiday? It's a completely secular event for me which only comes with obligations that I begrudgingly fulfill. (Yeah, I kind of sound a bit like a petulant, rebellious teenager here, huh? Guess I'll just do what I do - suck it up and deal until it's over.)
Well, THAT got whiny and depressing. On to more positive things!
I've been listening to Kaleo pretty much non-stop lately. (Thank you, Jared and Jensen, for putting them on my radar!) I'm not sure what it is about the album, but it's pretty damn happy-making for me. I don't think I've even really listened to the lyrics of the songs (something I unfortunately rarely do) but the music just gets me. It's mellow without being either depressing or sappy - it's just chill and I love that. Again, I highly recommend it - if you haven't had a listen yet, give it a search on YouTube (the albumn is called A/B - there are a few artists called Kaleo - this one only has this one album.).
Alright, I suppose that's all I have to ramble on about for now. If you've made it this far - you deserve a cookie! (Everyone deserves a cookie!) I'm off to do - something. Productive. Probably. Maybe.
Pre-post edit: I just spent half an hour scrolling through twitter when I got distracted while reading through this for typos. The procrastination force is strong with me!
It's that time of year. No, not Halloween (though, Happy Halloween!). Not Thanksgiving or Christmas. Screw all those traditional holidays. I'm celebrating the month-long holiday where writers across the world embrace their insanity and write 50,000 words in 30 days. Yup, I'm doing it again. NaNoWriMo will consume my life for the next month (and I can't wait!).
I took a vacation day today, and aside from trips to the kitchen for food and drink and visits to the bathroom, I didn't get out of bed! I got no phone calls or texts, and I even avoided checking my work email! It. Was. Awesome!
I had intended to spend the day writing, but when I woke up, I just wasn't feeling it. So, I didn't, and I didn't even feel bad about it. I read a lot, posted a bunch over at spn_writing and chatted with friends online. I even took the lazy route and ordered pizza for dinner so all I had to do was answer the door.
Days like this usually tend to leave me groggy, and I'm feeling that now - but tomorrow I'll feel rested and recharged so it's totally worth it. So tomorrow it's back to work, and I'm actually not dreading the week. Sometimes it's just a really good idea to take a day just for yourself!
I mentioned in yesterday's post that dancing_adrift sent me a birthday card with artwork by dephigravity - I went out today for a frame for it! Haven't put it on the wall yet, because my little section of SPN Love doesn't really have any more room, so I'm going to have to rearrange some things - but here it is! *infinite heart eyes*
I certainly have a soft spot for kissing boys - and this art makes me so happy! <3 Thanks, Amanda!
I knowwwwwwwww! I didn't even make it a week straight before I dropped the ball. But, I'm going to continue...it may be in fits and starts, but I'll get to 100!
Today's happy is...*drum roll*...happy birthday to me!
I get to do that, right? Right.
I've had a pretty good birthday! I got lots of love from my friends online, a sweet card from dancing_adrift with lovely artwork by dephigravity (kissing boys ftw!), and had yummy cake and ice cream with my family. Pretty low-key, but that's okay!
Sometimes I wish I had a big group of friends I could go out and celebrate with, but I kind of think that's more of what's expected, what's the norm, than what I would actually enjoy. I'm pretty low-key normally, so it really would be out of character for me to go out on the town or have a big party. I guess it's just a little crappy to feel lonely on your birthday, but - ehhh.
BUT - I'm starting a new year, and that's always kind of exciting. I'm thinking about some new goals to try to achieve in the next year, ways I can work toward improving myself. Goal setting is always something that gets me hyped up, spurs my motivation. I don't always achieve them all, but that's okay. I keep working on them, revise and revisit and eventually I'll get there!
Well, you knew it was just a matter of time. It was inevitable. Had to happen.
Today's happy? J2.
Whether it's watching Supernatural, gag reels, con videos, or reading (and writing) fanfic, these two beautiful, sexy, goofy dorks make me smile.
As I mentioned yesterday, it's been a rough couple of days for me. I do whatever I can to pull myself out of these episodes of deep depression, if one thing doesn't work I move on and try another. Today (while I was supposed to be working...shhhh!) I tried watching the videos from Dallas con. It had me laughing out loud, and after a long weekend of feeling so down I could barely get out of bed, that felt really fucking good. It lifted my spirits enough that I was able to go for a walk after work, and the fresh air and excercise improved my mood even more. So things are looking up, and J2 helped.
(The new CW sizzle reel with them "comparing swords" didn't hurt matters, either - still giggling about that one!)